Q) So....who killed Various Artist?
A) Our people are working on it - 'hey send that to the lab, no not Chocco, the fat bastards been fed'.

Q) No artist’s statement on your website?
A) We imagine ourselves as falling between making a club out of books and calling it Book Club and remaking Macbeth as a Disney cartoon. More than a one line joke but falling short of greatness.

Q) Ok, perhaps you could tell us a little about your practice...
A) In days like these to say you have a 'practice' seems like nothing more than a bourgeois conceit. Like all good artists we're simply chasing that elusive beast called the sublime.

Q) You seem to quote constantly from popular culture...
A) You know how when you take a dog for a walk and the animal will run off but keep returning to see where you are - well, we are that dog.

Q) How do you think you are viewed?
A) Our friends treat us with suspicion and our enemies with awe.

Q) Describe your illustrations?
A) 16th Mannerism meets 70's disco - or Bronzino versus the Village People - although we don't really do them anymore.

Q) You say you want a revolution?
A)It's always the streets isn't it, those comfortable, kettle friendly cul de sacs that carry us home on a water cannon wave of cabernet cabaret and corporate hostility. As you read this, someone in a grey hoodie with Athletic stencilled on the front is reclaiming them by tagging your polytunnel in large fluorescent bubble letters. He is a vegan called Jim or James. Or Beth.

Q) Or Both? Ok, a signature piece we can all admire?
A) A painting is never finished, it is simply abandoned and with the author long gone. The entire history of art is littered with abandoned texts, museums are nothing more than entertainment lay-bys in a cultural blizzard of fake snow.

Q) You're hosting a reality TV version of Jim, Dine With Me, who's invited to dinner?
A) Bono, Ono, Eno and Godot
Q) Sounds a riot, no women?
A) Godot's a man...?

Q) What do you do to relax?
A) I fake lie detector tests

Q) And finally, what is your super power?
A) China.

More F.A.Q's

Do you think I'm sexy?
Is there something I should know?
Where have all the good times gone?
Does this bus stop at 82nd street?
Am I the one you're looking for?
Who knows where the time goes?
Have you seen me lately?
When will I see you again?
Was there anything I could do?
Do you know the way to San Jose?
Are you ready to be heartbroken?
Will you still love me tomorrow?
What difference does it make?
Has anyone here seen Hank?
Where are you tonight?
When will I be loved?
What time is love?
Who can I be now?
Is this love?
Who are you?
Who do you love?
Who's zoomin' who?
When will I be loved?
Are you gonna go my way?
Where have all the cowboys gone?
Who's gonna ride your wild horses?
Have you seen your mother baby?
Who wants to live forever?
Is your love in vain?
How soon is now?
Life on Mars?
Who by fire?
Is this it?
Why?

More F.A.Q's (continued)

Are you experienced?
How deep is your love?
Does Your Pussy Do The Dog?
Is this the World we created?
Is you is or is you ain't my baby?
Have I the right to hold you?
Are you lonesome tonight?
Have I told you lately?
Where Did Our Love Go?
Are 'friends' electric?
Where do you go to my lovely?
Why does love have to be so bad?
Why does it always rain on me?
What's the frequency Kenneth?
Have you ever seen the rain?
Should I stay or should I go?
Why don't we do it in the road?
What Becomes of the Broken Hearted?
How much is that Doggie in the Window?
Who's going to shoe your pretty little feet?
Honey are you Straight or are you Blind?
Who Says a Funk Band Can't Play Rock?
What's the Story, Morning Glory?
Do you really want to hurt me?
They Shoot Horses Don't They?
Whatcha gonna do about it?
Is there life after love?
What was it you wanted?
When will I be famous?
Who Let the Dog Out?
Who put the bomp?
Alone again, or?
What do I get?